Opportunity

"To plant a garden is to believe in tomorrow."

                                          -  Audrey Hepburn

It’s Saturday morning. I sit with my tea, having just finished my morning meditation. It’s cool outside, but the sun is shining, the birds are chirping, and the trees are coming back to life. After what has been a long winter for most of us across the country, spring is finally here!

As much as I love the warmer months, each year, I get overwhelmed by the work required to maintain the yard and all the beds. Mind you, the yard was one of the things I fell in love with when my boys and I needed to find a new home four years ago. My blessing is my curse; isn’t that how life goes? So last week, I began the task of spring cleanup.

I supervised my son as he mowed the yard. I pulled weeds that have already taken root. I raked leaves, laid newspaper for weed prevention in beds that don’t have perennials, and hauled mulch. My back hurts, I’m tired, and I have another 60% to go! It is tedious, but also a tremendous joy. Why, you ask? I think it’s because there is something cathartic about the smell of the earth. There is something wonderfully healing and symbolic in clearing out the old to find small perennials pushing through the soil in their annual rebirth; as without, so within.

I feel somewhat confident that I wrote a similar post last spring. Forgive my redundancy, but the symbolism is a moving meditation; a reminder of the connection to the earth and our own journey of “rebirth.” I suspect my heart will be filled with gratitude next spring as well, and I will share it again.

Cut back the old, clear out the debris, reveal the new, and plant the seeds of a new beginning. What better opportunity can any of us ask for?

My dirty jeans and gloves await me!

Many Blessings

Sheryl

Exploration

Greetings!

            I had a moment this past week that touched me in such a way that I wanted to share it with you.

My sons are getting older and, knowing that the years are dwindling that they might be willing to spend part of their spring break with me, I decided we would go on an impromptu trip to Carlsbad Caverns in southern New Mexico. It had been on my “mental list” of things I wanted to do with them before they were grown for several years, so I made the proposal and it was accepted. I checked the expiration date on my National Park annual pass, booked a room in Carlsbad, printed off the directions on Mapquest, and we were off!

We arrived in the early afternoon the next day and explored what we could of the caves on our own. The next morning, we did a tour that took us into an area of the cavern called the King’s Palace and the Queen’s Chambers. Through the expertise of the guide (I do love the National Park system) we learned more about how the caverns were formed and were taken into portions you can only enter with a park ranger.

Needless to say, the caverns are about as awe inspiring as any natural landscape I have ever experienced, and more than once, I tears filled my eyes. I found myself contemplating this amazing formation beneath the surface of the Guadalupe Mountains dating back 3.9 to 4 million years. While there is evidence that ancient people were aware of the caverns by petroglyphs found outside the 90 foot natural entrance at the top, I wondered how far they could have traveled down into the depths without the use of a lantern with fuel. Were the depths really just explored in the late 1800’s?

As we stood in King’s Palace, I had a moment; a moment in which I truly grasped the magnitude of where I was and the miracle that life on this planet earth is. It was one of those fleeting moments in which an awareness of self in relation to the spectrum of space and time felt within my reach and comprehension; a moment in which I was both humbled by my own insignificance in the realm of creation and awe struck that I was somehow a participant in it.

 

These lives we are living are but a blip on the radar screen of linear time. Yet within our lives, there is uncharted territory to be covered, awareness to be gained, adventure to be sought, and deep, magnificent caverns of Self to be explored.

It is all here, just waiting for us.

Many Blessings,

Sheryl 

Go.Create.Release.

I had been living in a space of creativity and inspiration, and felt I was in perfect balance. But then the stressors of my “real” job took over, and alas, I found myself derailed. My job is a big job. It’s an important job that ultimately has to do with services to abused and neglected children, so of course I let it take over when it must. But honestly, I don’t want it to be all of me.

When I awoke this morning, I had an agenda; to get back on track. It is a cold day, and the sleet is pattering against the windows. How perfect a day to build a fire, drink mugs of hot lemon water (in attempt to cut down on the Bailey’s and coffee) and curl up on the couch with my laptop, right? Easier said than done! I looked at the projects I had been working on the past few weeks and became overwhelmed at everything I was going to have to do to make them a more perfect product.

I also made the mistake of reading a blog about how long a novel should be. I then did a word count on my own novel, which I am revising and putting in first person, finally ready to fully own the experience that led to its writing. I felt my heart drop into my stomach; Timeless Waters was about 900 words to short for industry standard. I failed. I mean, who would want to read a book that was 69,100 words when it should be at least 70,000?

Then it happened; the downward spiral of self doubt and self questioning .WHAT ON EARTH did I think I was doing? Why did I ever publish that book? I wanted to go hide in my hole.

And then I remembered how much I had felt inspired to work on the projects. Not only that, I had just written about the importance of following “the nudge.” Was I going to walk my talk? So, I made myself that cup of Bailey’s and coffee and pulled out my laptop.

If we wait for our projects to be perfect, for our ideas to be polished, or for someone else’s approval, most of our ideas will never be released into the world. They will sit on a desk or a hard drive, or worse, they will whither away in the back of our minds, never to have a chance to be set free or shared with others. To hell with that—life is too short!

Go - Create - Release. 

Warning! Expect more not-so-perfect things from me, just like this!

Many Blessings,

Sheryl 

Honoring "the nudge"

Hello Kindred Spirits!

First, thanks to all who have responded and signed up for the email list after the technological travesty that resulted in its demise. Perhaps it will rebuild and be better than ever, yes?

It has been an interesting few weeks for me. My “real” job has been quite turbulent, yet at the same time I have been feeling oddly creative. I want nothing more than to hole up with my laptop and let it pour out of me -- Which brings me to what I want to share with you today: honoring “the nudge.”

Last week, a small book idea that came to me last summer as I sat on the beach was front and center in my mind. It is a little book about burnout for executive directors of nonprofits, which I am in my day job. I sat down, and over the course of a week, the  bones of that little book was written, just like that. Imagine me snapping my fingers for full effect! It literally just poured out of me.

Around the same time last week, I started feeling the strong sense that I am supposed to rewrite Timeless Waters in the first person, which it actually was in its first draft. I am asking myself, why on earth would I need to do that? When will I find the time?  But I have felt the nudge, heard the call, felt the pull. Needless to say, I imagine sometime soon I will sit down and try a rewrite….

            The nudge can be an inspirational idea that makes you want to act. It can be a nagging feeling in your gut. It can be a series of roadblocks that keep redirecting you until you finally get it, or it can be a faint whisper on the wind that you might not even realize you heard.

We feel the nudge to do things; call an old friend, take a different route to work, create, start a project, go back to school. Yet, when receiving that gentle push, we often don’t listen. We tell ourselves it is a silly idea or all the reasons we shouldn’t even bother. But what if that nudge you feel, that “crazy” idea, is Spirit’s way of gently guiding you in a direction that will make you happy, enrich your life, or help someone else? 

Spirit communicates, in a multitude of ways. Our one and only job is to listen.

Many Blessings,

Sheryl

Meditation

“For what is prayer but expansion of your self into the living ether?”                                             - Kahlil Gibran

 “In the modern world, meditation is far more effective as a technique of self-management than as a means of personal transformation, much less enlightenment,” was what I read this morning as I sipped my tea, scrolling through articles in the New York Times. I should probably mention that this was after my daily ritual of meditation and prayer.

There was something about the article I fundamentally disagreed with. Later, I went back to it again with an open mind; in hope that it would help me better understand the perspective of the writer. As I did so, I began to recognize the degree to which meditation has been adapted to fit our cultural expectations. We in the west like data that demonstrates proof that something is worth our time and effort. Claims that meditation lowers cortisol levels, reduces stress, increases job performance, aids in alleviating depression, and improves a sense of well being and inner peace are the “whys;” the reasons that meditation has in many ways made it’s way into our mainstream, and even corporate, culture. As I read on, I noted that the article was speaking of mindfulness meditation; a practice with roots in Buddhism that has become a part of our mainstream definition of meditation—which I admittedly know very little about. In my more than 25 years of meditation, I simply have never pursued that method of reaching a meditative state.

I have always thought of meditation as reaching out to God (Spirit or All That Is), and in the silence and stillness, listening. For me, it is not a health/stress reduction practice, but a spiritual connection, the steps to which are a well worn path. Through it I have gained insight and clarity on my life circumstances.

There is what I call the waiting; my internal chatter still at play, I sit patiently waiting for that subtle shift in my consciousness which enables me to feel the presence. 

Then there is the connection; I let that energetic presence flow through me and surround me. And as I do so, move deeper and deeper into a meditative state. 

And last there is the return; I open my eyes, not remembering exactly where I have been, but filled with a sense of awe and peace.

I will never know what my life would have been like the past 25 years without my meditative practice, and in spite of it I have had my share of tough times and heartache. I will never know if meditation helped facilitate the experience that led to the writing of Timeless Waters, or if that past life journey would have happened anyway.

What I do know is that when Gibran refers to prayer as “the expansion on your self into the living ether,” it speaks to my soul. The living ether is home, and I hope to visit it many times before I return for good.

Blessings,

Sheryl

Living a conscious life

“The time to repair the roof is when the sun is shining.”

-   John F. Kennedy

2014 began with a bang. A flurry of professional activity lay in front of me that first week back at work; meetings out of town, funding issues, presentations to prepare for. My work for abused and neglected children is something I love, but as the holidays came to an end, I found myself feeling hesitancy and a little dread. I just wasn’t quite ready to return. It didn’t help that over the month of December I had completed my second draft of a workbook I started writing two years ago about the ways in which we create our realities, or that I spent New Year’s Day with a group of friends meditating, releasing the old and taking steps to create 2014 with intention. Who wouldn’t want to stay in that space forever?

Into reality I dove, head first, and it wasn’t bad. As I said, I really love my work. But as I sat in an out of state meeting the following weekend, something wasn’t right. Was my head going to explode? What was the strange pain I was feeling? Lo and behold, upon my return, I was diagnosed with shingles.

I of course asked myself, “Why are you manifesting this?” Likeminded friends asked, “What is your body trying to tell you?”  Stress is number one, but that’s obvious. So I went deeper, asking questions such as why did this nasty virus that has been dormant for forty one years choose this particular time to make its self visible. Or did I simply need a reason to stay home for a few days without feeling guilty? (By the way, it didn’t work. I felt guilty).

            Regardless of the many ideas I have about the above questions (and I do indeed have some!), I need to gently acknowledge that my roof is broken, which is probably why, when it rains, I get soaking wet. This really should come as no surprise; I have been putting patches on my roof for a while, which I imagine is the case for many of us.

I can beat myself up for letting myself get so run down that the chicken pox I had when I was four have come back to haunt me with a vengeance, but that isn’t productive. Nor can I do anything to change the past. Figuratively speaking, it’s raining right now, so it’s not an ideal time to make any repairs. But I have a month of healing ahead of me, and in that there is time to think about what I will do differently when the sun comes out again.

Here’s to living a conscious life!

Blessings,

Sheryl

January 2014

“For last year's words belong to last year's language and next year's words await another voice.” 

— T.S. Eliot

In what has now become a tradition, I hosted my annual New Year’s gathering; a lovely brunch and women’s circle, complete with a preparatory assignment and a ritual of release. As we sat in an opening meditation and prayer, I felt a powerful energy surging through the room as these women, all amazing in their own unique ways, joined their intentions.

The closing activity was to write a letter to your self, just as we did last year. Because I already had given it some thought, I knew the overall tone of what I would be writing, but first things first; I needed to read what I wrote January 1, 2013. I tore the envelope and gently unfolded the paper, unable to remember what I had to say to myself twelve months ago.

As I read the first paragraph, my heart began to sink. “What?” I said to myself.  Much to my surprise, it was in many ways the same letter I was going to write myself this year. How, after what felt like a year of growth, could that be? Had I made no progress whatsoever?

 When my guests were gone and the kitchen had been cleaned, I sat down with the letter, the journal I had started last winter, and began a “year in review” through my writing. As I read my inner thoughts and feeling states in my journal entries, it slowly became clear that the overarching themes pressing me forward at the beginning of 2013 are, in fact, the same as they are today. But I also realized I am not the same person I was when I wrote a year ago; my insight has expanded, my understanding has deepened, and my joys were many.

So, now I must find next year’s voice. Within the context of those consistent overarching themes, who do I want to be? What do I want to accomplish? What dream can I bring to fruition? As I sit down to write my letter for 2014, I am not quite sure what the answers are to those questions. But I can say I am excited to find out.

Many Blessings in this New Year,

Sheryl