Releasing Fears and Trying Something New

Well, after an almost three month sabbatical from writing, I composed one of these messages a few weeks ago. When I saw the final copy after it went out, I cringed, for in my haste I apparently didn't do a final proof? A word was missing; there was a typo or two. I then spent the following week feeling mortified, talking myself through my shame and hiding in my cave. 

Did I say shame? Yes, I did.

Let’s talk about that, or more specifically, the idea that it is unthinkable to make a public mistake. I say something incorrectly, don’t catch a typo, or make a fool of myself in some way, and I spend the next few weeks beating myself up and spinning in my self disappointment. I hate being so ding-dang human! Funny thing is, I would never describe myself as a perfectionist or anything remotely close.

When I confess this problem I have, I hear from others that they too have these experiences, so I am glad to know I am not alone. The problem is that these very fears of imperfection, making a mistake, or being judged that keep many of us from putting ourselves out there and sharing what we have to share with the world.
 

 You know what else? I have written about this before! Where’s the progress? (You can read it here.)

This rediscovered discomfort with my many imperfections almost stopped me from something I have been working on; a short email series on “everyday mysticism,"focused on sharing ideas about how to tap our inner mysticism while being fully engaged in this very busy and distracting physical life.

I consider myself a bit of an expert when it comes to being in the flow of the mystical river, complete with amazing metaphysical experiences, only to somehow find myself in the desert again. It’s a circle within this life of its own kind. I know I am not alone. So when I start the series, read it. Save the emails in your inbox until you have time. Create a space where you are focused and relaxed; read while you savor your morning coffee or your evening wine. Get out your journal and make notes to yourself about your own life and experiences, whatever works for you.

Okay, did I catch all my typos this time? Is it safe for me to hit the button?  
 

I hope so...

In the meantime, keep an eye out for an email labeled "Everyday Mysticism."
I look forward to sharing this time with you!

Many Blessings,

Sheryl

Going Within

“From a small seed a mighty trunk may grow.” – Aeschylus

Greetings to all, and I hope the last two months of summer were wonderful for everyone.

Wow, it has been quite a while since I sat down and wrote. What happened to me? I was simply living life. My sons and I took a trip to New Mexico and Colorado. We spent time with close friends, and time together with just the three of us. We watched for bears, hiked, visited places we loved and explored new ones. I worked my nonprofit-social work job and within that created two day-long presentations, brought a few projects from my mind into reality, all the while feeling blessed that within my work there is so much room for expression and creativity. 

We got the school year started, and last week at work I facilitated a retreat for a group of non-profit executive directors at a state park called Quartz Mountain. In preparing for those three days, I took of my usual professional hat, creating room to develop a presentation that enabled us to explore neuroplasticity; have fun, new experiences and bring what we learned personally to our jobs.
 
But I wasn't writing and it bothered me. I felt unusually silent. Yet, within my silence I was aware of a deep, inner stillness. I felt peace. I felt a quiet joy.
 
There is usually a reason when we feel we need to be quiet and go within. Often there is a seed - an idea, wisdom, or understanding- that is taking root.

I feel myself emerging from my quiet space, and am going to trust that from a small seed a mighty trunk may grow. As autumn approaches, stirring the mystical inside of me,  I am awaiting epiphanies.
 
Wishing Epiphanies for Us All,
 
Sheryl

Opportunity

"To plant a garden is to believe in tomorrow."

                                          -  Audrey Hepburn

It’s Saturday morning. I sit with my tea, having just finished my morning meditation. It’s cool outside, but the sun is shining, the birds are chirping, and the trees are coming back to life. After what has been a long winter for most of us across the country, spring is finally here!

As much as I love the warmer months, each year, I get overwhelmed by the work required to maintain the yard and all the beds. Mind you, the yard was one of the things I fell in love with when my boys and I needed to find a new home four years ago. My blessing is my curse; isn’t that how life goes? So last week, I began the task of spring cleanup.

I supervised my son as he mowed the yard. I pulled weeds that have already taken root. I raked leaves, laid newspaper for weed prevention in beds that don’t have perennials, and hauled mulch. My back hurts, I’m tired, and I have another 60% to go! It is tedious, but also a tremendous joy. Why, you ask? I think it’s because there is something cathartic about the smell of the earth. There is something wonderfully healing and symbolic in clearing out the old to find small perennials pushing through the soil in their annual rebirth; as without, so within.

I feel somewhat confident that I wrote a similar post last spring. Forgive my redundancy, but the symbolism is a moving meditation; a reminder of the connection to the earth and our own journey of “rebirth.” I suspect my heart will be filled with gratitude next spring as well, and I will share it again.

Cut back the old, clear out the debris, reveal the new, and plant the seeds of a new beginning. What better opportunity can any of us ask for?

My dirty jeans and gloves await me!

Many Blessings

Sheryl