Releasing Fears and Trying Something New

Well, after an almost three month sabbatical from writing, I composed one of these messages a few weeks ago. When I saw the final copy after it went out, I cringed, for in my haste I apparently didn't do a final proof? A word was missing; there was a typo or two. I then spent the following week feeling mortified, talking myself through my shame and hiding in my cave. 

Did I say shame? Yes, I did.

Let’s talk about that, or more specifically, the idea that it is unthinkable to make a public mistake. I say something incorrectly, don’t catch a typo, or make a fool of myself in some way, and I spend the next few weeks beating myself up and spinning in my self disappointment. I hate being so ding-dang human! Funny thing is, I would never describe myself as a perfectionist or anything remotely close.

When I confess this problem I have, I hear from others that they too have these experiences, so I am glad to know I am not alone. The problem is that these very fears of imperfection, making a mistake, or being judged that keep many of us from putting ourselves out there and sharing what we have to share with the world.
 

 You know what else? I have written about this before! Where’s the progress? (You can read it here.)

This rediscovered discomfort with my many imperfections almost stopped me from something I have been working on; a short email series on “everyday mysticism,"focused on sharing ideas about how to tap our inner mysticism while being fully engaged in this very busy and distracting physical life.

I consider myself a bit of an expert when it comes to being in the flow of the mystical river, complete with amazing metaphysical experiences, only to somehow find myself in the desert again. It’s a circle within this life of its own kind. I know I am not alone. So when I start the series, read it. Save the emails in your inbox until you have time. Create a space where you are focused and relaxed; read while you savor your morning coffee or your evening wine. Get out your journal and make notes to yourself about your own life and experiences, whatever works for you.

Okay, did I catch all my typos this time? Is it safe for me to hit the button?  
 

I hope so...

In the meantime, keep an eye out for an email labeled "Everyday Mysticism."
I look forward to sharing this time with you!

Many Blessings,

Sheryl

Going Within

“From a small seed a mighty trunk may grow.” – Aeschylus

Greetings to all, and I hope the last two months of summer were wonderful for everyone.

Wow, it has been quite a while since I sat down and wrote. What happened to me? I was simply living life. My sons and I took a trip to New Mexico and Colorado. We spent time with close friends, and time together with just the three of us. We watched for bears, hiked, visited places we loved and explored new ones. I worked my nonprofit-social work job and within that created two day-long presentations, brought a few projects from my mind into reality, all the while feeling blessed that within my work there is so much room for expression and creativity. 

We got the school year started, and last week at work I facilitated a retreat for a group of non-profit executive directors at a state park called Quartz Mountain. In preparing for those three days, I took of my usual professional hat, creating room to develop a presentation that enabled us to explore neuroplasticity; have fun, new experiences and bring what we learned personally to our jobs.
 
But I wasn't writing and it bothered me. I felt unusually silent. Yet, within my silence I was aware of a deep, inner stillness. I felt peace. I felt a quiet joy.
 
There is usually a reason when we feel we need to be quiet and go within. Often there is a seed - an idea, wisdom, or understanding- that is taking root.

I feel myself emerging from my quiet space, and am going to trust that from a small seed a mighty trunk may grow. As autumn approaches, stirring the mystical inside of me,  I am awaiting epiphanies.
 
Wishing Epiphanies for Us All,
 
Sheryl

Changing Seasons

“To everything there is a season.”  So says Ecclesiastes, but I always hear Pete Seeger’s lyrics that became an international hit when sung by the Byrds in 1965, “To everything turn, turn, turn….”

We all have our own seasons. Yet, so often we are not able to honor them. Real life--our jobs, responsibilities and obligations—can dictate our lives for us. Still, we know when our internal seasons are changing; we feel it in every cell of our beings, and if we are not consciously aware, our lives and bodies show us.

A year ago I began to experience a shift in my own internal seasons and was not able to honor them, which was not good for me. After a year of trying to create an opportunity to rectify that (and the long journey it was to get it approved), I have begun my own attempt at honoring my seasons; a two month break. I am calling it a sabbatical of my own making; I have had my season of planting for 25 years, and now it is time to reap. “There is a season, turn, turn, turn…”

            I have goals for this time away from my job: enjoy more relaxed time with my kids, work on projects, write, and just “be” at a slower pace than is my normal life. But I realized Monday that letting go and slowing down is going to be a process; a downshifting. I spent two days completing and finalizing my workbook (a Timeless Waters companion of sorts, helping us better understand the various levels through which we create our own realities). I’ve cleaned out drawers, cleaned carpet, and organized my creative work space. Slowing down yes, but still moving at 90 miles an hour!

            But what I want most out of this time is clarity. I seek the mental space to consider where I have been, what I have accomplished and what I have valued most in my life and endeavors over the past 25 years. What metaphorical drawers of the way I have been living need to be cleaned out? And if I had the chance to consciously fill the drawers of my life with something new, what would that be?

            This may be quite ambitious; particularly for a woman who has only just begun the process of trying to release the knots of life. I also know the kind of clarity I seek may take far more time than I have off.  But I am determined. Determined to establish a life that allows me to honor my seasons, and determined to consciously create more of what fills my “drawers,” my time, my mind, and my heart.

May we all honor our seasons,

Sheryl