Releasing Fears and Trying Something New

Well, after an almost three month sabbatical from writing, I composed one of these messages a few weeks ago. When I saw the final copy after it went out, I cringed, for in my haste I apparently didn't do a final proof? A word was missing; there was a typo or two. I then spent the following week feeling mortified, talking myself through my shame and hiding in my cave. 

Did I say shame? Yes, I did.

Let’s talk about that, or more specifically, the idea that it is unthinkable to make a public mistake. I say something incorrectly, don’t catch a typo, or make a fool of myself in some way, and I spend the next few weeks beating myself up and spinning in my self disappointment. I hate being so ding-dang human! Funny thing is, I would never describe myself as a perfectionist or anything remotely close.

When I confess this problem I have, I hear from others that they too have these experiences, so I am glad to know I am not alone. The problem is that these very fears of imperfection, making a mistake, or being judged that keep many of us from putting ourselves out there and sharing what we have to share with the world.
 

 You know what else? I have written about this before! Where’s the progress? (You can read it here.)

This rediscovered discomfort with my many imperfections almost stopped me from something I have been working on; a short email series on “everyday mysticism,"focused on sharing ideas about how to tap our inner mysticism while being fully engaged in this very busy and distracting physical life.

I consider myself a bit of an expert when it comes to being in the flow of the mystical river, complete with amazing metaphysical experiences, only to somehow find myself in the desert again. It’s a circle within this life of its own kind. I know I am not alone. So when I start the series, read it. Save the emails in your inbox until you have time. Create a space where you are focused and relaxed; read while you savor your morning coffee or your evening wine. Get out your journal and make notes to yourself about your own life and experiences, whatever works for you.

Okay, did I catch all my typos this time? Is it safe for me to hit the button?  
 

I hope so...

In the meantime, keep an eye out for an email labeled "Everyday Mysticism."
I look forward to sharing this time with you!

Many Blessings,

Sheryl

Influences

A friend of mine recently picked me up for lunch, and as we left my office, we found ourselves at a stoplight that caused us to stop under an overpass. Knowing the inexplicable discomfort I had developed a few years ago about being stopped under an overpass, he crept up as far as he could, as to acknowledge his recollection of my phobia. My hands were already clasping my neck, and I nervously laughed and said, “This has to be from another lifetime!”

I believe I know the source, the fragmented details of which came to me as I was drifting into a meditative state while in New Mexico three years ago. I looked up and saw something coming down on “me-” a bolder? It was dirt colored, and in essence “I” was buried alive. Perhaps this is an influence; a soul memory that is manifesting itself as an irrational fear in this lifetime.

You have an irrational fear. Or something happens; someone makes you feel angry, abandoned, unimportant, or threatened-- you can fill in the blank with any number of emotional responses. You may even think you see the situation clearly for what it is and have every reason to feel the way you feel. Right? The answer is not as simple and straightforward as the quick path an emotional response can take, no doubt complete with full rationalization and justification.

            Not only are our perceptions impacted by a wide variety of factors in the present moment, if we are believers in reincarnation, there are influences across space and time that make their way into our reality. This can happen in any sundry of ways, and we may not be aware of what is influencing us. What is important is to hold in your conscious awareness the understanding that those influences exist, and to adjust your perspective or temper responses when it seems they don’t necessarily make sense.

            As we drove beneath the overpass on the way back to my office after lunch, my friend mentioned his irrational dislike of turquoise, and asked me if I thought it could be an influence from another lifetime. Knowing what I believe to be a portion of our past that was a Tewa lifetime in what is now northern New Mexico, I smiled to myself. “Yes,” I responded. “I believe it is.”

Blessings,

Sheryl


PS.
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