Changing Seasons

“To everything there is a season.”  So says Ecclesiastes, but I always hear Pete Seeger’s lyrics that became an international hit when sung by the Byrds in 1965, “To everything turn, turn, turn….”

We all have our own seasons. Yet, so often we are not able to honor them. Real life--our jobs, responsibilities and obligations—can dictate our lives for us. Still, we know when our internal seasons are changing; we feel it in every cell of our beings, and if we are not consciously aware, our lives and bodies show us.

A year ago I began to experience a shift in my own internal seasons and was not able to honor them, which was not good for me. After a year of trying to create an opportunity to rectify that (and the long journey it was to get it approved), I have begun my own attempt at honoring my seasons; a two month break. I am calling it a sabbatical of my own making; I have had my season of planting for 25 years, and now it is time to reap. “There is a season, turn, turn, turn…”

            I have goals for this time away from my job: enjoy more relaxed time with my kids, work on projects, write, and just “be” at a slower pace than is my normal life. But I realized Monday that letting go and slowing down is going to be a process; a downshifting. I spent two days completing and finalizing my workbook (a Timeless Waters companion of sorts, helping us better understand the various levels through which we create our own realities). I’ve cleaned out drawers, cleaned carpet, and organized my creative work space. Slowing down yes, but still moving at 90 miles an hour!

            But what I want most out of this time is clarity. I seek the mental space to consider where I have been, what I have accomplished and what I have valued most in my life and endeavors over the past 25 years. What metaphorical drawers of the way I have been living need to be cleaned out? And if I had the chance to consciously fill the drawers of my life with something new, what would that be?

            This may be quite ambitious; particularly for a woman who has only just begun the process of trying to release the knots of life. I also know the kind of clarity I seek may take far more time than I have off.  But I am determined. Determined to establish a life that allows me to honor my seasons, and determined to consciously create more of what fills my “drawers,” my time, my mind, and my heart.

May we all honor our seasons,

Sheryl

Go.Create.Release.

I had been living in a space of creativity and inspiration, and felt I was in perfect balance. But then the stressors of my “real” job took over, and alas, I found myself derailed. My job is a big job. It’s an important job that ultimately has to do with services to abused and neglected children, so of course I let it take over when it must. But honestly, I don’t want it to be all of me.

When I awoke this morning, I had an agenda; to get back on track. It is a cold day, and the sleet is pattering against the windows. How perfect a day to build a fire, drink mugs of hot lemon water (in attempt to cut down on the Bailey’s and coffee) and curl up on the couch with my laptop, right? Easier said than done! I looked at the projects I had been working on the past few weeks and became overwhelmed at everything I was going to have to do to make them a more perfect product.

I also made the mistake of reading a blog about how long a novel should be. I then did a word count on my own novel, which I am revising and putting in first person, finally ready to fully own the experience that led to its writing. I felt my heart drop into my stomach; Timeless Waters was about 900 words to short for industry standard. I failed. I mean, who would want to read a book that was 69,100 words when it should be at least 70,000?

Then it happened; the downward spiral of self doubt and self questioning .WHAT ON EARTH did I think I was doing? Why did I ever publish that book? I wanted to go hide in my hole.

And then I remembered how much I had felt inspired to work on the projects. Not only that, I had just written about the importance of following “the nudge.” Was I going to walk my talk? So, I made myself that cup of Bailey’s and coffee and pulled out my laptop.

If we wait for our projects to be perfect, for our ideas to be polished, or for someone else’s approval, most of our ideas will never be released into the world. They will sit on a desk or a hard drive, or worse, they will whither away in the back of our minds, never to have a chance to be set free or shared with others. To hell with that—life is too short!

Go - Create - Release. 

Warning! Expect more not-so-perfect things from me, just like this!

Many Blessings,

Sheryl