Going Within

“From a small seed a mighty trunk may grow.” – Aeschylus

Greetings to all, and I hope the last two months of summer were wonderful for everyone.

Wow, it has been quite a while since I sat down and wrote. What happened to me? I was simply living life. My sons and I took a trip to New Mexico and Colorado. We spent time with close friends, and time together with just the three of us. We watched for bears, hiked, visited places we loved and explored new ones. I worked my nonprofit-social work job and within that created two day-long presentations, brought a few projects from my mind into reality, all the while feeling blessed that within my work there is so much room for expression and creativity. 

We got the school year started, and last week at work I facilitated a retreat for a group of non-profit executive directors at a state park called Quartz Mountain. In preparing for those three days, I took of my usual professional hat, creating room to develop a presentation that enabled us to explore neuroplasticity; have fun, new experiences and bring what we learned personally to our jobs.
 
But I wasn't writing and it bothered me. I felt unusually silent. Yet, within my silence I was aware of a deep, inner stillness. I felt peace. I felt a quiet joy.
 
There is usually a reason when we feel we need to be quiet and go within. Often there is a seed - an idea, wisdom, or understanding- that is taking root.

I feel myself emerging from my quiet space, and am going to trust that from a small seed a mighty trunk may grow. As autumn approaches, stirring the mystical inside of me,  I am awaiting epiphanies.
 
Wishing Epiphanies for Us All,
 
Sheryl

Go.Create.Release.

I had been living in a space of creativity and inspiration, and felt I was in perfect balance. But then the stressors of my “real” job took over, and alas, I found myself derailed. My job is a big job. It’s an important job that ultimately has to do with services to abused and neglected children, so of course I let it take over when it must. But honestly, I don’t want it to be all of me.

When I awoke this morning, I had an agenda; to get back on track. It is a cold day, and the sleet is pattering against the windows. How perfect a day to build a fire, drink mugs of hot lemon water (in attempt to cut down on the Bailey’s and coffee) and curl up on the couch with my laptop, right? Easier said than done! I looked at the projects I had been working on the past few weeks and became overwhelmed at everything I was going to have to do to make them a more perfect product.

I also made the mistake of reading a blog about how long a novel should be. I then did a word count on my own novel, which I am revising and putting in first person, finally ready to fully own the experience that led to its writing. I felt my heart drop into my stomach; Timeless Waters was about 900 words to short for industry standard. I failed. I mean, who would want to read a book that was 69,100 words when it should be at least 70,000?

Then it happened; the downward spiral of self doubt and self questioning .WHAT ON EARTH did I think I was doing? Why did I ever publish that book? I wanted to go hide in my hole.

And then I remembered how much I had felt inspired to work on the projects. Not only that, I had just written about the importance of following “the nudge.” Was I going to walk my talk? So, I made myself that cup of Bailey’s and coffee and pulled out my laptop.

If we wait for our projects to be perfect, for our ideas to be polished, or for someone else’s approval, most of our ideas will never be released into the world. They will sit on a desk or a hard drive, or worse, they will whither away in the back of our minds, never to have a chance to be set free or shared with others. To hell with that—life is too short!

Go - Create - Release. 

Warning! Expect more not-so-perfect things from me, just like this!

Many Blessings,

Sheryl