Going Within

“From a small seed a mighty trunk may grow.” – Aeschylus

Greetings to all, and I hope the last two months of summer were wonderful for everyone.

Wow, it has been quite a while since I sat down and wrote. What happened to me? I was simply living life. My sons and I took a trip to New Mexico and Colorado. We spent time with close friends, and time together with just the three of us. We watched for bears, hiked, visited places we loved and explored new ones. I worked my nonprofit-social work job and within that created two day-long presentations, brought a few projects from my mind into reality, all the while feeling blessed that within my work there is so much room for expression and creativity. 

We got the school year started, and last week at work I facilitated a retreat for a group of non-profit executive directors at a state park called Quartz Mountain. In preparing for those three days, I took of my usual professional hat, creating room to develop a presentation that enabled us to explore neuroplasticity; have fun, new experiences and bring what we learned personally to our jobs.
 
But I wasn't writing and it bothered me. I felt unusually silent. Yet, within my silence I was aware of a deep, inner stillness. I felt peace. I felt a quiet joy.
 
There is usually a reason when we feel we need to be quiet and go within. Often there is a seed - an idea, wisdom, or understanding- that is taking root.

I feel myself emerging from my quiet space, and am going to trust that from a small seed a mighty trunk may grow. As autumn approaches, stirring the mystical inside of me,  I am awaiting epiphanies.
 
Wishing Epiphanies for Us All,
 
Sheryl

January 2014

“For last year's words belong to last year's language and next year's words await another voice.” 

— T.S. Eliot

In what has now become a tradition, I hosted my annual New Year’s gathering; a lovely brunch and women’s circle, complete with a preparatory assignment and a ritual of release. As we sat in an opening meditation and prayer, I felt a powerful energy surging through the room as these women, all amazing in their own unique ways, joined their intentions.

The closing activity was to write a letter to your self, just as we did last year. Because I already had given it some thought, I knew the overall tone of what I would be writing, but first things first; I needed to read what I wrote January 1, 2013. I tore the envelope and gently unfolded the paper, unable to remember what I had to say to myself twelve months ago.

As I read the first paragraph, my heart began to sink. “What?” I said to myself.  Much to my surprise, it was in many ways the same letter I was going to write myself this year. How, after what felt like a year of growth, could that be? Had I made no progress whatsoever?

 When my guests were gone and the kitchen had been cleaned, I sat down with the letter, the journal I had started last winter, and began a “year in review” through my writing. As I read my inner thoughts and feeling states in my journal entries, it slowly became clear that the overarching themes pressing me forward at the beginning of 2013 are, in fact, the same as they are today. But I also realized I am not the same person I was when I wrote a year ago; my insight has expanded, my understanding has deepened, and my joys were many.

So, now I must find next year’s voice. Within the context of those consistent overarching themes, who do I want to be? What do I want to accomplish? What dream can I bring to fruition? As I sit down to write my letter for 2014, I am not quite sure what the answers are to those questions. But I can say I am excited to find out.

Many Blessings in this New Year,

Sheryl

Tomorrow is promised to no one.

      “Remember, tomorrow is promised to no one.”

                             -Walter Payton

My life, of course, creates the fodder for what I write. I have begun to realize that experience, be it good or bad, holds within it the opportunity to seek grace and uncover wisdom.

Such was the source of the Timeless Waters blog for March of this year, and alerted by the message that my post contained, an old friend contacted me. Speaking to me in a language I could understand, he referenced an experience I wrote about in my book, Timeless Waters, and opened a dialog about where I was in my life. Of all that conversation contained, there was one thing he said that has stuck with me the most; “What do you want the next half of your life to be about?” He is indeed a wise man.

I took a few weeks and let that simmer. My young to middle adulthood had been about working hard; building my career, a family, a home and a life. Wrapped up in those things are my values of service to humanity, productivity, success, accomplishment, stability, and so forth. All those endeavors were worthwhile and are the foundation of where I am today. I have no regrets, but a new season of life is upon me, and with that comes the question: what do I want that to look like?

Joy was the word that came to mind; and a life fully lived. Living life fully would mean living a little differently; creating new patterns in my existence to balance out the paths of experience so well traveled the first forty five years. Joy, spontaneity, time for recreation, and tending to my list of dreams—this was what I wanted and was where I would start.

After a solo-trip to Utah to explore Bryce Canyon and Zion National Park-- an experience that fit my newly established criteria-- I told my sons I wanted them to hike the Narrows with me for my 50^th birthday.  What could be more exhilarating than a ten mile hike through the Virgin River in the heart of Zion, with 1500 feet canyon walls towering on both sides? My youngest, now 12, asked “why are we going to wait until your 50?”  He had a very good point. Two months after that conversation, I found myself hiking the Narrows with my boys, as well as Bryce and the Grand Canyon. It was a literally a dream come true. I am still not sure how I made that a reality. Come to think of it, I’m not sure exactly how this entire summer has become a reality. It is as if I am living my life from a different paradigm, and I hope it is where I have taken residence rather than a short visit.

Perhaps the quote at the top of the page should be Walt Disney’s “if you can dream it you can do it,” rather than “tomorrow is promised to no one.” Or maybe, just maybe, the two together are the formula for a joyful life indeed.

Blessings,

Sheryl